Polygamy is being "demonized" nowadays. Let's discuss the supposed ill effects of polygamy. We are only covering those that will fit a Philippine setting.
A. Domestic Violence
A 2008 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS) revealed that 14.4 percent of married women in the Philippines have experienced physical abuse from their husbands. A Philstar report in 2012 stated that these domestic violence against women and children are increasing. Any percentage of domestic violence is deplorable and the Philippines, ruled by the Catholic church since Spanish times, is largely a MONOGAMOUS country. Polygamy is only allowed among followers of Islam and only a few of these people live as polygamists. Besides, Muslims in the Philippines are private and usually does not get involve in government surveys on these topic. The statistics, therefore, means the Christian population.
Unfortunately, we don't have records of polygamist wives being subjected to domestic violence in the Philippines because Polygamy is illegal (bigamy) and frowned upon by Filipinos. Although I know of queridas (concubines) and girlfriends of married men who got abused or of married men who have queridas or girlfriends who abused their wives and/or children.
The thing is, domestic violence happens both in monogamy and polygamy. It does because these people do not live a God-centered life. It becomes doubly important to believe in and follow Jesus/Yeshua if we support polygamy. A Christian polygamist can only claim to be one if he walks with God.
B. Cult Mind Control/Religious Manipulation
We have numerous cults in the Philippines. There were news in the past of cult leaders having lots of women. Well, that's polygamy with mind control. Using God to further one's agenda.
I have one question though. I and the rest of "Christian" Filipinos have been bombarded since birth with that monogamy is the only form of marriage allowed. Everything else is bad. There's not much reason given except it i s what God intended and what we should follow. Ummnnn, does it sound suspiciously like cult mind control and religious manipulation?
For cult mind control and religious manipulation not to exist in any form, we should be given the truth and freedom to make a choice, just as the One True God allowed us to do.
C. Wedding Vow Breakers
Okay, I'd be honest. I was so busy looking at my bride and being happy when we were being married that the only phrases I can remember hearing and uttering back then were "until death do as part" and "I do." Discovering the truth about polygamy didn't change that. I still love her and I still think of little ways to make her smile like bring her flowers, chocolates, and an occasional breakfast of her favorite pancakes from a popular junk-food-chain. Oh, and she's not too keen with Polygamy. Yes, she knows already of my beliefs. I can't lie to her and she knows me and my moods.
Of course, Pinoy monogamists have a different story to tell. Support for a divorce law is gaining momentum. Read here, here, and here. It doesn't mean that the law is going to get passed. Besides, we already have options like annulment and legal separation but they do cost a pretty penny. Divorce will simply make marriage dissolution easier and cheaper.
The point is, the Philippines is a monogamous country by culture and religion but it is considering divorce due to the number of bad marriages and separated couples. I'm just wondering who is the wedding vow breaker?
D. Incest
Incest is simply gross, there is no excuse for it. But it does not stop some Filipino jerks to molest or rape their daughters, nieces, or cousins. Once in a while, we get news of such despicable acts. But who commit these crimes in this country? Yes, monogamists.
E. Marrying underage girls
Everybody must have heard of 60 year-old ka Freddie and his 16-year-old bride by now. I have nothing against ka Freddie regarding his choice and he has recently converted to Islam. However, I bet the monogamy mindset is still very much with him. The thing is, a lot of Pinoys go for younger women and nearly all of them are monogamists.
Hey, it is illegal to get hitched to a girl not yet 18 in the Philippines, aside from being harassed in social media, so don't get any ideas. Personally, I'm more attracted to mature and independent women rather than high school gigglers.
F. Jealousy and conflict
In polygamy, jealousy is said to be common among spouses because the husband cannot devote equal attention to each wife. The green-eyed monster is well and alive in the Philippines. Read here and here.Of course, it's not about a wife being jealous of another wife because polygamy is not allowed here. It does show that jealousy still exists in a monogamous culture.
The problem here is not polygamy, because it does not technically exist here, but not living with the word of God. Instead of jealousy and conflict, how about love, compassion, and understanding?
G. Economic
The Philippines is a poor country. How are we going to support more than one wife or family? First, there are many married Filipinos males who have girlfriend/s or another family on the side. These are not millionaires, just your ordinary Juan and Pedro types. There is no question of them about being able to support girlfriends or a second family. I know of someone who have three separate families.
Second, let's get closer to home. Ever since we were married, members of my wife's family has lived with us for extended periods of time (that's Filipino culture). Of course, not all at once. Sometimes there are up to three, sometimes only one. The little resources we have are shared with these relatives when they stay in our home. It is is not easy but we did get by. If, instead of relatives, we put a sister-wife and two more kids in the picture, we can see that we can easily live within our means.
The ting about polygamy and economics is we need to know when we have to stop adding wives. The Bible was specific about this. In fact, most of the patriarch in the Bible only have two to four wives, the kings being an exemption.
H. It's bad for the children
I can't quite understand this. If we add a sister-wife to our family does it mean I turn from a good and loving husband and father into a monster? I love my kids and I'm sure I'm gonna love my future kids as well.
It's only bad for the kids when they get bullied in school for having two mothers. But kids are getting bullied for a lot of reasons and polygamist will be ostracised in society. If polygamy is part of God's truth, does it mean we will deny it just so we get accepted in society? As Christians, are we aware of the coming tribulations and the mark of the beast?
As we can see, the reasons given by anti-polygamists does not hold much water. What they claim happen with polygamists also happens with monogamists. The truth is, if we don't put God in our lives, we are going to have trouble, no matter what lifestyle we choose.
With the current ratio of men to women, is there a need for polygamy?
One of the things anti-polygamists are using against polygamy is the ratio of men to women. In the past, they say that there are a lot more women. Polygamy was allowed back then so the few men can take care of all those women. Today, the ratio is like 1:1 or maybe a bit skewed in favor of women. There's really no reason for men to have more than one wife.
This is true in secular polygamy, if we can get all those men and women to pair up. However, there is more to it than meets the eye. We are talking about Biblical polygamy and God is not only present in the picture, He takes up the whole background. It means that God must be present in the lives of the polygamists, we must have a personal relationship with Him, become believers.
Now, if the ratio is 1:1, how many of those men would be believers? A hundred percent? I don't think so, as our times is ruled by rebellion against God. Let's say only 50% of men are believers (an extremely liberal estimate) then the ratio becomes 1:2. How about only 25% are believers? The ratio is now 1:4. The number of men who can love, protect, and take care of men under the guidance, mercy, and grace of God becomes fewer.
Okay, it seems like I'm being self-righteous here. But are not unwed women instructed to look for righteous and obedient husbands who prioritize their relationship with God in their lives? Are we denying women the right to be truly loved and attain true happiness, tranquillity, and contentment as part of a God-fearing man's family?
I have the misfortune (in the sense that I'd rather have them found different men for husbands) of personally knowing three women whose lives were profoundly changed and deeply affected by the jerks whom they married. The first one's husband packed up one day, saying he's just going home to his mother, but he never came back. That woman is now living with somebody else and we know what this means. The second one's husband is the personification of the sin of sloth. He lived off his wife's earnings and had the audacity to get intimate with a neighbour's wife. Talk about hitting the 6th or 7th commandment right on the head. The third woman's partner went abroad to work and never came back.
These gals are not perfect but they are good women and are pleasant to the eyes, to boot. It is simply their rotten luck to fall for rotten specimens of the male species because of limited opportunities. I've been asking myself what if polygamy is socially acceptable and these women were given the opportunity to find that "perfect" mate, regardless of marital status? Will they opt for a married man who has proven himself with an existing family?
I also know God-fearing women who are already well into their 30's but are still unmarried because they are unable to find "that" guy. Some say that their standards for men are high. I know better, they are not looking for some rich and handsome prince, they are looking for somebody who both fears and love God and obeys Him. They are terrified to absolutely submit themselves to some asshole jerk, as they are commanded to do in the Bible once married.
It is the men who are supposed to be the spiritual leaders and bread winners of the family. Will women simply accept their fate to be married to spiritual wimps because of cultural norms or false doctrines? For true Christians, the total number of men is not what it appears to be. Christian polygyny is no only about getting a man's name, it is more about a chance to be welcomed into a loving and supportive family.
This is true in secular polygamy, if we can get all those men and women to pair up. However, there is more to it than meets the eye. We are talking about Biblical polygamy and God is not only present in the picture, He takes up the whole background. It means that God must be present in the lives of the polygamists, we must have a personal relationship with Him, become believers.
Now, if the ratio is 1:1, how many of those men would be believers? A hundred percent? I don't think so, as our times is ruled by rebellion against God. Let's say only 50% of men are believers (an extremely liberal estimate) then the ratio becomes 1:2. How about only 25% are believers? The ratio is now 1:4. The number of men who can love, protect, and take care of men under the guidance, mercy, and grace of God becomes fewer.
Okay, it seems like I'm being self-righteous here. But are not unwed women instructed to look for righteous and obedient husbands who prioritize their relationship with God in their lives? Are we denying women the right to be truly loved and attain true happiness, tranquillity, and contentment as part of a God-fearing man's family?
I have the misfortune (in the sense that I'd rather have them found different men for husbands) of personally knowing three women whose lives were profoundly changed and deeply affected by the jerks whom they married. The first one's husband packed up one day, saying he's just going home to his mother, but he never came back. That woman is now living with somebody else and we know what this means. The second one's husband is the personification of the sin of sloth. He lived off his wife's earnings and had the audacity to get intimate with a neighbour's wife. Talk about hitting the 6th or 7th commandment right on the head. The third woman's partner went abroad to work and never came back.
These gals are not perfect but they are good women and are pleasant to the eyes, to boot. It is simply their rotten luck to fall for rotten specimens of the male species because of limited opportunities. I've been asking myself what if polygamy is socially acceptable and these women were given the opportunity to find that "perfect" mate, regardless of marital status? Will they opt for a married man who has proven himself with an existing family?
I also know God-fearing women who are already well into their 30's but are still unmarried because they are unable to find "that" guy. Some say that their standards for men are high. I know better, they are not looking for some rich and handsome prince, they are looking for somebody who both fears and love God and obeys Him. They are terrified to absolutely submit themselves to some asshole jerk, as they are commanded to do in the Bible once married.
It is the men who are supposed to be the spiritual leaders and bread winners of the family. Will women simply accept their fate to be married to spiritual wimps because of cultural norms or false doctrines? For true Christians, the total number of men is not what it appears to be. Christian polygyny is no only about getting a man's name, it is more about a chance to be welcomed into a loving and supportive family.
Legalize Polygamy?
We are dealing with this topic in the context of Christian Polygyny. Polygamist are trying to ride in the coattails of the success of gay marriage to be accepted socially and legally. Regardless of the fact that one rebuttal of the anti-gay group in blocking gay marriage is that it opens up the opportunity for polygamists to push their agenda. I said "their" because polygamists are a very diverse group and have various reasons behind their causes and most of those reasons have nothing to do with following the word of the One True God.
So let us limit this particular topic to Biblical Christian polygamy. Do we really believe that a Christian man marrying two or more women will be accepted by society at large and their marriage made legal or accepted by the government? If polygamy is indeed allowed by God and is part of His truth, then is there a chance that it will be accepted by the nations?
My point is... this present world and time is not His and, during the end times, deceit will rule the world. The churches will follow false doctrine, installing and following teachers who will give them what they want to hear. So if polygamy is part of God's truth, then they will try to block and deny it as part of Satan's strategy to undermine His authority among men.
Fact, if we review history, that is what happened for the past 2,000 years. Right after Jesus/Yeshua died on the cross and ascended to heaven, polygyny was systematically erased from the norm. The concept of one man being able to love, protect, and take care of more than one woman was "demonized." It was replaced by Greek notion of the one true love, of soulmates. Instead of love being taught to women, jealousy and conflict were given prominence.
So do we even move to have Christian polygamy legalized? Do we try to become "normal" people in a society, living "nomal" lives? What is considered "normal" today definitely has some serious issues against the word of God.
I believe that Christian polygynists should keep the laws of man an arm's length away. We should not try to be integrated into society, we're only wasting our effort in inconsequential things. We should strive to spread the truth about Christian polygyny. We should strive to live the guidelines set forth in the word of God so people can discern the truth in the way we live and act. That way, other Christians may accept the truth about polygamy so we can live harmoniously together.
There are ways we can do polygamy without coming directly under the legal authority of governments and without breaking any of man's law. However, there is a good chance we will be shunned by our neighbours, maybe ostracised. That is not a bad thing. That is part of believing in Jesus/Yeshua as our Lord and Saviour, especially in the end times. We might even face death in the future for supporting Christian polygamy.
The Bible expressly warmed us in 1 Timothy 4 of men (false teachers?) departing from the faith and following false doctrines (of the devil). Specifically, teachings... forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth (1 Timothy 4:3).
We cannot be part of this world.
So let us limit this particular topic to Biblical Christian polygamy. Do we really believe that a Christian man marrying two or more women will be accepted by society at large and their marriage made legal or accepted by the government? If polygamy is indeed allowed by God and is part of His truth, then is there a chance that it will be accepted by the nations?
My point is... this present world and time is not His and, during the end times, deceit will rule the world. The churches will follow false doctrine, installing and following teachers who will give them what they want to hear. So if polygamy is part of God's truth, then they will try to block and deny it as part of Satan's strategy to undermine His authority among men.
Fact, if we review history, that is what happened for the past 2,000 years. Right after Jesus/Yeshua died on the cross and ascended to heaven, polygyny was systematically erased from the norm. The concept of one man being able to love, protect, and take care of more than one woman was "demonized." It was replaced by Greek notion of the one true love, of soulmates. Instead of love being taught to women, jealousy and conflict were given prominence.
So do we even move to have Christian polygamy legalized? Do we try to become "normal" people in a society, living "nomal" lives? What is considered "normal" today definitely has some serious issues against the word of God.
I believe that Christian polygynists should keep the laws of man an arm's length away. We should not try to be integrated into society, we're only wasting our effort in inconsequential things. We should strive to spread the truth about Christian polygyny. We should strive to live the guidelines set forth in the word of God so people can discern the truth in the way we live and act. That way, other Christians may accept the truth about polygamy so we can live harmoniously together.
There are ways we can do polygamy without coming directly under the legal authority of governments and without breaking any of man's law. However, there is a good chance we will be shunned by our neighbours, maybe ostracised. That is not a bad thing. That is part of believing in Jesus/Yeshua as our Lord and Saviour, especially in the end times. We might even face death in the future for supporting Christian polygamy.
The Bible expressly warmed us in 1 Timothy 4 of men (false teachers?) departing from the faith and following false doctrines (of the devil). Specifically, teachings... forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth (1 Timothy 4:3).
We cannot be part of this world.
The Love Of Many Will Grow Cold
Matthew 24:12 And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.I came across this article in yahoo, "In God we trust, maybe, but not each other." It describes how Americans have lost their trust in fellow Americans for the past 20 years. In 1972 most Americans said 46% of people can be trusted, it went down to 32% in 2012. The Olivet Discourse immediately jumped to mind, specially the phrase "the love of many will grow cold."
Am not sure if the love indicated in Matthew 24:12 includes trust but the common notion of love does include trusting the one we love. Based on the result of that research, love is indeed growing cold.
Reasons for the decline in trust include less personal interaction, economic inequality, decline in moral values, and greed. All of these issues are covered in the Olivet Discourse. The article stated that being in front of the monitor or TV most times isn't helping.
On Polyamory and Being Cool.
The web is abuzz about polyamorous pod Michael, Kamala, and Rachel. That's one man and two women No, am not delving into the morality of this arrangement. They are all adults and we were given free will. It's just that most of the articles I've read regarding the trio are leaning in the positive side, with a smattering of the following words: loving, lasting relationship, honesty, happy, and beneficial to the kid. Nice. Almost like its a cool thing to do.
I'm just wondering why, when it comes to faith-based polygyny, I usually read the words "jealousy," "conflict," "abuse," "neglect," etc. Similar situation, one man, two women... and kids. Yet, it seems like if we bring God into the equation, everything goes downhill.
I'm just wondering why, when it comes to faith-based polygyny, I usually read the words "jealousy," "conflict," "abuse," "neglect," etc. Similar situation, one man, two women... and kids. Yet, it seems like if we bring God into the equation, everything goes downhill.
Is Isaiah 4:1 against polygamy?
Isaiah 4:1
And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, we will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.
From the information I gleaned around the web, polygamists and monogamist agree on two things regarding this Bible verse, it’s talking about polygamy and it’s a prophecy. Most also agree that there is nothing positive about it. There are two ways in which the verse is interpreted: literal and figurative.
Those who interpret it literally say that there will come a time when the male population will be decimated. This can happen most probably through wars. Give a group of men a flag to wave and a drum to march to and off they go to fight for whatever is the most convenient reason for the moment. So this coming dearth in men will revive polygyny (legally?) just so unmarried women can have a man’s name, even if they are going to provide for their own needs.
Those who interpret it figuratively say that it represent churches who simply wants to be called Christ’s name but still want to do things their own way. The Christ, of course, represents the man and the women represents those churches who want to be called Christian but does not want be to be subjected to the Word of God (they will provide for their own needs). This does have a ring of the truth in it, especially when it comes to polygamy.
So I’ve been asking myself what makes this verse appear in a negative light. Is it the seven women marrying a man (polygyny) or is it the wilful women who wants to marry for the name only but does not want to follow the Biblical institution of marriage?
Monogamists are quick to point out that it is polygamy that makes the verse negative since nothing good comes out of it. However, it is largely ignored that the “marrying” does not happen yet and the women are proposing to get hitched to a man just to take his name. Yep, the women already have that notion before the marriage, not after it... before polygamy happens, not after polygamy happens.
How about the women (churches) not wanting to subject themselves to marriage as defined and indicated in the Bible? Instead opting to follow their own definition of marriage for their own benefit? In short, people who have their own religion and want to be called Christians but does not want to be subjected to the guidelines set in the Bible. Even in monogamy, this is still not right.
It is interesting to note, though, what the verse implies in the literal and figurative sense: (1) Polygyny will again be recognized among Christians and (2) God is often portrayed as a polygamist in the Bible.
Christian Polygamists Must have Higher Standards for Themselves
Should polygamist aspire to a higher standard than monogamists? Of course. Fact, everybody should strive to the standard of being like Jesus. I came across this post which says that polygamists should be above reproach and blameless. A sentiment I can agree with.
I'm sharing the whole article which can be originally found here. If it's not okay then give me a ping to take it down.
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Polygamy: Some Points To Ponder
Submitted by Justin on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 01:59.
Dear All,
Polygamy is not much different than monogamy except that it adds a dimension of complexity and opportunity. Consequently, what is proper in monogamy is even more important to practice in polygamy.
From being in polygamy circles (Christian ones at least) I see that what is needed is a moral code and a level of integrity that befits our calling.
Being called to polygamy is like being called to be a bishop in a church. You have to be above reproach and blameless. The standard that we must aspire too is even higher than those who practice monogamy.
Right now, Many do what is right in their own eyes and there seems to be no baseline code of conduct that is even remotely followed. I really believe that until a group of people come together and start to live poly in a reasonable manor that our cause will remain small and reviled.
If we wish to be taken seriously, seriously enough to attract the kind of families and single women that can strengthen all of us, we must start to walk worthy.
People don't seem to want to hear that there should be a moral and ethical basis for what we do or a standard from which we operate. However, anarchy does not work in monogamy so why should it work in polygamy? Why do people in the normal world have to act within certain parameters to be part of civilized society but people who want to take on another wife need not do the same?
It is time to come together and stop being islands unto ourselves so that we can become part of a society that works together to live the lifestyle we have chosen. The type of women that we want to find are not going to be attracted to something that is so chaotic, unstable, and morally insecure.
So what shall we do?
1. Do not talk about sex or sexual preferences with women you have just met. If you do then you are not really serious about polygamy or the woman you are taking with. It degrades us all.
2. Do not talk about the earning potential of a sister wife. You are not dating to find an extra source of income for your family. This is crass and makes the woman feel like she is being selected for profit rather than character and personality.
3. Do try to get to know the woman's character, viewpoints, sensibilities, dreams and desires. Make them know that you are interested in them as a person first and foremost.
4. Do not be looking for a sister wife unless your wife or husband is "fully" on board and is in it with you. Polygamy has to come from a place of unity and common commitment or else you will run the risk of really messing up someones life.
5. If you are a Christian do get God's permission to seek polygamy. Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle and if God is not in it with you then you will probably not succeed on your own.
6. Don't lie, stretch the truth, be coy, or otherwise falsely represent yourself at any time. Have confidence that if a woman is meant for your family that she will be able to accept the truth.
7. Consider meeting quickly in real life rather than carrying on a multi-month or multi-year relationship that goes from "hi may name is" to "your my wife" online. You can't know someone online like you can know someone in person. If a family or woman is not willing to meet after a short time it probably means they are not ready for polygamy. Meeting in person in a safe and public place will let you know if the relationship is worth continuing online. Even if you have to fly half way across the country to find this out the time and heartache you will save yourself is well worth it.
8. Men, respect each others families and women. Do not talk to or approach another man's wives or even women that you know they are dating. Have some class and show your brothers some respect.
9. consider the practicalities of having another wife. Make sure you have the homes or at least the square footage in your present house to keep them. Consider that the woman coming into your family will need, at some point, to build some assets too for her financial security. Have life insurance and a will made up to protect your wives and children should something happen to you.
10. The bottom line is that anything that would make a monogamous family prosper is doubly important to consider when you are running a poly family. Love, respect, consideration, fairness, and all the other characteristics of holy matrimony need to be present in spades for those who wish to be successful polygamists.
Blessings,
Justin
"Listen, Hear,and Obey on time"
An article on Should Polygamy be Legalized
I came across this interesting article at LegalSource360.com advocating for the legalization of polygamy. The author, Robin Smith, compared two situations where betrayal happened in while trust in the other. The betrayal situation is often accepted by society acceptable and cool, often conferring on the betraying males the alpha male status. The trust/love situation often declares the man involve as a fool and a criminal.
based on what I observed in my community, Mr. Smith did hit the nail squarely on the head. but legalizing polygamy? I'm not sure, yet.
Check out this article ==> http://www.legalsource360.com/index.php/should-polygamy-or-plural-marriages-be-legalized-yes-18-5881/
based on what I observed in my community, Mr. Smith did hit the nail squarely on the head. but legalizing polygamy? I'm not sure, yet.
Check out this article ==> http://www.legalsource360.com/index.php/should-polygamy-or-plural-marriages-be-legalized-yes-18-5881/
Polygyny Among Indigenous People in the Philippines
Wikipedia states that polygyny was the norm for tribal Filipinos way back then. Actually, it still exist today among tribal folks who remained true to their old beliefs (not Christians). I was in contact often with Talaandig, Manobo, and Higaonon communities in Bukidnon in the 90's. Although a lot of them were Christianized, a few remain as traditional animist. It is among them that I observed polygyny.
Surprisingly, relations between polygamous (non-Christian) and monogamous (Christian) members of the tribes were amiable. Religion didn't matter among them. It was a different story with Christians who were not of tribal origin, dumagats or "from the sea" we were called.
Of course, it nothing new to me how Christians treat tribal folks, mush more those who remain animists. But I was more interested more in their way of life. Not that I was considering polygyny back then because I was still unmarried. It was in the way they add a second or more wife.
For the Talaandig-Manobo-Higaonon who practiced polygyny, adding a second or more wives means additional help for the existing wife/wives to tend the field, do housework, and take care of the children. Not that the men are lazy, they usually do the hunting, trading, farm work that requires their strength, and defending their families and villages from raids.
The wife/wives have a lot of say about the family. In fact, it was them who did the courtship. Yep, imagine the man simply pointing out a fine young lady with strong arms and good sturdy legs and the wives marches off to her house. This gives an opportunity for the ladies to get acquainted and know each other before any commitment is made.
Their polygyny was more about cooperation and working together for the family. A far cry from the jealousy and conflict emphasized by monogamists. I have often wondered why, in a union blessed by and under the guidance of God, would people expect the worst to happen instead of letting love, compassion, and understanding prevail?
Surprisingly, relations between polygamous (non-Christian) and monogamous (Christian) members of the tribes were amiable. Religion didn't matter among them. It was a different story with Christians who were not of tribal origin, dumagats or "from the sea" we were called.
Of course, it nothing new to me how Christians treat tribal folks, mush more those who remain animists. But I was more interested more in their way of life. Not that I was considering polygyny back then because I was still unmarried. It was in the way they add a second or more wife.
For the Talaandig-Manobo-Higaonon who practiced polygyny, adding a second or more wives means additional help for the existing wife/wives to tend the field, do housework, and take care of the children. Not that the men are lazy, they usually do the hunting, trading, farm work that requires their strength, and defending their families and villages from raids.
The wife/wives have a lot of say about the family. In fact, it was them who did the courtship. Yep, imagine the man simply pointing out a fine young lady with strong arms and good sturdy legs and the wives marches off to her house. This gives an opportunity for the ladies to get acquainted and know each other before any commitment is made.
Their polygyny was more about cooperation and working together for the family. A far cry from the jealousy and conflict emphasized by monogamists. I have often wondered why, in a union blessed by and under the guidance of God, would people expect the worst to happen instead of letting love, compassion, and understanding prevail?
The Rock: Where Monogamist and Polygamist Live Together
"Why do some people not like that we have two mommies?"
This was asked by a 7 year old. Check out this article on The Rock, a haven for those who choose to follow their beliefs rather than be coerced by society... click here. Some photos here.
Good questions.
This was asked by a 7 year old. Check out this article on The Rock, a haven for those who choose to follow their beliefs rather than be coerced by society... click here. Some photos here.
As a country, we've grown much more tolerant of alternative lifestyles in recent years. But are we ready to tolerate plural marriage? Should we be that tolerant? And will society judge Faith and her siblings harshly because they have two moms and a dad?- Dave Semenara
Good questions.
Parable of the Ten Virgins
The parable of the ten virgins is really about being prepared for the second coming. The ten virgins are the church or churches while the bridegroom is our Lord and Saviour Yahshua. So only 5 virgins went with the the groom because the other 5 were not ready when he arrived to fetch them. Lesson of the story is we should be prepared. But it doesn't end with that.
The common interpretation for this parable is that the virgins were bridesmaids who accompanied the bride to the wedding reception. Yep, 5 virgins ended up hungry that night for being unprepared. However, what are bridesmaids? They are not married to the groom and usually went home together with the other guests after the feast. They don't stick around and stay with the bride and the groom for the rest of their lives, do they? Besides, the "bride" was curiously silent in this parable. A wedding, even a patriarchal one, usually revolves around the bride and the groom.
This is what those who believed in polygamy are pointing out. The virgins must be the brides. Our Lord and Saviour Yahshua would not be using a wedding/marriage during the time He was here as a man as an example if he was totally against polygamy.
This interesting page got me thinking about it... parable of the 10 virgins.
The common interpretation for this parable is that the virgins were bridesmaids who accompanied the bride to the wedding reception. Yep, 5 virgins ended up hungry that night for being unprepared. However, what are bridesmaids? They are not married to the groom and usually went home together with the other guests after the feast. They don't stick around and stay with the bride and the groom for the rest of their lives, do they? Besides, the "bride" was curiously silent in this parable. A wedding, even a patriarchal one, usually revolves around the bride and the groom.
This is what those who believed in polygamy are pointing out. The virgins must be the brides. Our Lord and Saviour Yahshua would not be using a wedding/marriage during the time He was here as a man as an example if he was totally against polygamy.
This interesting page got me thinking about it... parable of the 10 virgins.
Polygamy Turns Good Men Into Their Worst Enemies
This is a common theme among anti-polygamy articles, that having two or more wives turn godly men into disobedient sons. Its the same question as which was made first, the chicken or the egg. Do this men already have character flaws that caused them to disobey a command to have only one wife or the taking of more than one wife caused them to disobey God's commandments?
See, various examples are given of polygamous patriarchs where the addition of a wife or two to the first one are said to have caused strife between the wives or among siblings. The foremost often cited is that of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar. Actually, it's a complicated case among the three because Abraham didn't consider Hagar his wife or concubine even after he got her pregnant. He said to Sarah to do to the Egyptian whatever she wants because the poor girl remained as her servant. Sarah giving Hagar to Abraham to produce an heir has something to do with traditions back then.
To keep it short, Hagar bore Ishmael and then Sarah bore Isaac. From Ishmael came the followers of Islam and from Isaac descended the followers of Christianity. Two opposing camps. I believe that there are no coincidence and everything is part of or becomes part of God's overall plan for restoration.
Did Abraham's descendants through his two sons became enemies because he "took" Hagar? Was it due to disobeying an instruction for men to have only one wife? OR was it because Sarah did not have that much trust or confidence in God when he said that Abraham and Sarah will have a son even if she's already a hundred or so?
Taking a cue from his father, and playing by logic, Isaac should have a blissful family life since he was a monogamist. Yet Isau and Jacob had serious sibling rivalry, but that's another story. The point is both monogamist and polygamist are portrayed in the bible having family problems.
If we trace it back up to the beginning of humanity, there was only one man and one woman, the most ideal condition for monogamy. Yet, our original parents stilled disobeyed God.
Why focus only on the problems of polygamists and why make it appear that polygamy was the cause of the problems?
See, various examples are given of polygamous patriarchs where the addition of a wife or two to the first one are said to have caused strife between the wives or among siblings. The foremost often cited is that of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar. Actually, it's a complicated case among the three because Abraham didn't consider Hagar his wife or concubine even after he got her pregnant. He said to Sarah to do to the Egyptian whatever she wants because the poor girl remained as her servant. Sarah giving Hagar to Abraham to produce an heir has something to do with traditions back then.
To keep it short, Hagar bore Ishmael and then Sarah bore Isaac. From Ishmael came the followers of Islam and from Isaac descended the followers of Christianity. Two opposing camps. I believe that there are no coincidence and everything is part of or becomes part of God's overall plan for restoration.
Did Abraham's descendants through his two sons became enemies because he "took" Hagar? Was it due to disobeying an instruction for men to have only one wife? OR was it because Sarah did not have that much trust or confidence in God when he said that Abraham and Sarah will have a son even if she's already a hundred or so?
Taking a cue from his father, and playing by logic, Isaac should have a blissful family life since he was a monogamist. Yet Isau and Jacob had serious sibling rivalry, but that's another story. The point is both monogamist and polygamist are portrayed in the bible having family problems.
If we trace it back up to the beginning of humanity, there was only one man and one woman, the most ideal condition for monogamy. Yet, our original parents stilled disobeyed God.
Why focus only on the problems of polygamists and why make it appear that polygamy was the cause of the problems?
Husband of One Wife
This pertains to 1 Timothy 3:2. Even the staunchest anti-polygamists can't agree on how "husband of one wife" came to be. There's one interpretation which I feel to be closest to the truth (monogamist point of view) which is: ONE-WOMAN MAN. The Greek mia is interpreted as one. Now, that seems like a proper requirement for a church leader, being faithful to one woman.
Pro-polygamists, of course, has an interpretation close to their heart: HUSBAND OF THE FIRST WIFE. The Greek mia is interpreted as first. Hmmmnn, plausible and practical. If a man can indeed properly handle a household with two (2) or more wives and two (2) dozen kids, that's one qualification to lead a group of people with enough differences to make a little united nations. Plus, it also means being faithful to the first wife.
Honestly, I'm not sure if the polygamist interpretation wins over the monogamist one on this phrase. I've been trying to splice the two together, like: FIRST-WOMAN MAN. Something just doesn't click here.
However, the monogamists espousing the "one-woman man" interpretation believe Paul was not specifically speaking against polygamy in this particular verse.
Any ideas?
Pro-polygamists, of course, has an interpretation close to their heart: HUSBAND OF THE FIRST WIFE. The Greek mia is interpreted as first. Hmmmnn, plausible and practical. If a man can indeed properly handle a household with two (2) or more wives and two (2) dozen kids, that's one qualification to lead a group of people with enough differences to make a little united nations. Plus, it also means being faithful to the first wife.
Honestly, I'm not sure if the polygamist interpretation wins over the monogamist one on this phrase. I've been trying to splice the two together, like: FIRST-WOMAN MAN. Something just doesn't click here.
However, the monogamists espousing the "one-woman man" interpretation believe Paul was not specifically speaking against polygamy in this particular verse.
Any ideas?
Biblical Families
For those seeking the truth, check out this site... BiblicalFamilies.org. They are not limited to polygamy, although they do have a lot of information on it.
Might want to see this page on common misconception on plural marriage ==> http://www.biblicalfamilies.org/common_misconceptions.
It seems to have an active forum too. Would be nice to meet some kindred spirits.
Might want to see this page on common misconception on plural marriage ==> http://www.biblicalfamilies.org/common_misconceptions.
It seems to have an active forum too. Would be nice to meet some kindred spirits.
Christian Marriage Website
When I first got serious into researching online about a man loving two or more women and, consequently, having two or more wives, this is one of the first websites I stumbled across... christianmarriage.com. It is chock-full of informative articles on Christian polygamy, courtesy of a certain Pastor Don Wilton. The site is a great starting point for the search for truth.
It has a sister (or brother? Since Pastor Wilton supports Patriarchy) site called Christian Polygamy. However, I'm kind of uncomfortable with the little icons of bowing women in the menu bar. It's just a little personal quirk of mine since I'm very much in love with my woman (yep, this thing still happen) and with all those "cleave as one flesh" and "love like yourselves" thingy I can't imagine her bowing down before me. I believe there are more sensitive (to the ones we are supposed to love like we love ourselves) symbolisms for being submissive.
Anyway, Christian Marriage and Christian Polygamy has similar content.
Check it out ==> http://www.christianmarriage.com/home/
It has a sister (or brother? Since Pastor Wilton supports Patriarchy) site called Christian Polygamy. However, I'm kind of uncomfortable with the little icons of bowing women in the menu bar. It's just a little personal quirk of mine since I'm very much in love with my woman (yep, this thing still happen) and with all those "cleave as one flesh" and "love like yourselves" thingy I can't imagine her bowing down before me. I believe there are more sensitive (to the ones we are supposed to love like we love ourselves) symbolisms for being submissive.
Anyway, Christian Marriage and Christian Polygamy has similar content.
Check it out ==> http://www.christianmarriage.com/home/
One, Many, or None?
Monogamy is the standard. It's plain to see. Adam and Eve. One man, one woman.
The Norm according to Merriam-Webster:
(1) an average level of development or achievement.
(2) standards of proper and acceptable behaviour.
Does it mean we cannot deviate from the average? How about those who have no wives?
A man sinning by having many wives is open for debate. How about a man with no wife?
It's hard to imagine a just and merciful God punishing a poor guy for being single all his life.
Monogamy is the average, with polygamy at the high end and celibacy at the low end.
Not everybody is into celibacy. Not everybody is into monogamy. Not everybody is into polygyny.
I'm just wondering why the debate always seems to pitch monogamy against polygamy when they can exist together.
Talk about making life complicated. Or is it part of the great deception?
The Norm according to Merriam-Webster:
(1) an average level of development or achievement.
(2) standards of proper and acceptable behaviour.
Does it mean we cannot deviate from the average? How about those who have no wives?
A man sinning by having many wives is open for debate. How about a man with no wife?
It's hard to imagine a just and merciful God punishing a poor guy for being single all his life.
Monogamy is the average, with polygamy at the high end and celibacy at the low end.
Not everybody is into celibacy. Not everybody is into monogamy. Not everybody is into polygyny.
I'm just wondering why the debate always seems to pitch monogamy against polygamy when they can exist together.
Talk about making life complicated. Or is it part of the great deception?
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