Polygamy is being "demonized" nowadays. Let's discuss the supposed ill effects of polygamy. We are only covering those that will fit a Philippine setting.
A. Domestic Violence
A 2008 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS) revealed that 14.4 percent of married women in the Philippines have experienced physical abuse from their husbands. A Philstar report in 2012 stated that these domestic violence against women and children are increasing. Any percentage of domestic violence is deplorable and the Philippines, ruled by the Catholic church since Spanish times, is largely a MONOGAMOUS country. Polygamy is only allowed among followers of Islam and only a few of these people live as polygamists. Besides, Muslims in the Philippines are private and usually does not get involve in government surveys on these topic. The statistics, therefore, means the Christian population.
Unfortunately, we don't have records of polygamist wives being subjected to domestic violence in the Philippines because Polygamy is illegal (bigamy) and frowned upon by Filipinos. Although I know of queridas (concubines) and girlfriends of married men who got abused or of married men who have queridas or girlfriends who abused their wives and/or children.
The thing is, domestic violence happens both in monogamy and polygamy. It does because these people do not live a God-centered life. It becomes doubly important to believe in and follow Jesus/Yeshua if we support polygamy. A Christian polygamist can only claim to be one if he walks with God.
B. Cult Mind Control/Religious Manipulation
We have numerous cults in the Philippines. There were news in the past of cult leaders having lots of women. Well, that's polygamy with mind control. Using God to further one's agenda.
I have one question though. I and the rest of "Christian" Filipinos have been bombarded since birth with that monogamy is the only form of marriage allowed. Everything else is bad. There's not much reason given except it i s what God intended and what we should follow. Ummnnn, does it sound suspiciously like cult mind control and religious manipulation?
For cult mind control and religious manipulation not to exist in any form, we should be given the truth and freedom to make a choice, just as the One True God allowed us to do.
C. Wedding Vow Breakers
Okay, I'd be honest. I was so busy looking at my bride and being happy when we were being married that the only phrases I can remember hearing and uttering back then were "until death do as part" and "I do." Discovering the truth about polygamy didn't change that. I still love her and I still think of little ways to make her smile like bring her flowers, chocolates, and an occasional breakfast of her favorite pancakes from a popular junk-food-chain. Oh, and she's not too keen with Polygamy. Yes, she knows already of my beliefs. I can't lie to her and she knows me and my moods.
Of course, Pinoy monogamists have a different story to tell. Support for a divorce law is gaining momentum. Read here, here, and here. It doesn't mean that the law is going to get passed. Besides, we already have options like annulment and legal separation but they do cost a pretty penny. Divorce will simply make marriage dissolution easier and cheaper.
The point is, the Philippines is a monogamous country by culture and religion but it is considering divorce due to the number of bad marriages and separated couples. I'm just wondering who is the wedding vow breaker?
D. Incest
Incest is simply gross, there is no excuse for it. But it does not stop some Filipino jerks to molest or rape their daughters, nieces, or cousins. Once in a while, we get news of such despicable acts. But who commit these crimes in this country? Yes, monogamists.
E. Marrying underage girls
Everybody must have heard of 60 year-old ka Freddie and his 16-year-old bride by now. I have nothing against ka Freddie regarding his choice and he has recently converted to Islam. However, I bet the monogamy mindset is still very much with him. The thing is, a lot of Pinoys go for younger women and nearly all of them are monogamists.
Hey, it is illegal to get hitched to a girl not yet 18 in the Philippines, aside from being harassed in social media, so don't get any ideas. Personally, I'm more attracted to mature and independent women rather than high school gigglers.
F. Jealousy and conflict
In polygamy, jealousy is said to be common among spouses because the husband cannot devote equal attention to each wife. The green-eyed monster is well and alive in the Philippines. Read here and here.Of course, it's not about a wife being jealous of another wife because polygamy is not allowed here. It does show that jealousy still exists in a monogamous culture.
The problem here is not polygamy, because it does not technically exist here, but not living with the word of God. Instead of jealousy and conflict, how about love, compassion, and understanding?
G. Economic
The Philippines is a poor country. How are we going to support more than one wife or family? First, there are many married Filipinos males who have girlfriend/s or another family on the side. These are not millionaires, just your ordinary Juan and Pedro types. There is no question of them about being able to support girlfriends or a second family. I know of someone who have three separate families.
Second, let's get closer to home. Ever since we were married, members of my wife's family has lived with us for extended periods of time (that's Filipino culture). Of course, not all at once. Sometimes there are up to three, sometimes only one. The little resources we have are shared with these relatives when they stay in our home. It is is not easy but we did get by. If, instead of relatives, we put a sister-wife and two more kids in the picture, we can see that we can easily live within our means.
The ting about polygamy and economics is we need to know when we have to stop adding wives. The Bible was specific about this. In fact, most of the patriarch in the Bible only have two to four wives, the kings being an exemption.
H. It's bad for the children
I can't quite understand this. If we add a sister-wife to our family does it mean I turn from a good and loving husband and father into a monster? I love my kids and I'm sure I'm gonna love my future kids as well.
It's only bad for the kids when they get bullied in school for having two mothers. But kids are getting bullied for a lot of reasons and polygamist will be ostracised in society. If polygamy is part of God's truth, does it mean we will deny it just so we get accepted in society? As Christians, are we aware of the coming tribulations and the mark of the beast?
As we can see, the reasons given by anti-polygamists does not hold much water. What they claim happen with polygamists also happens with monogamists. The truth is, if we don't put God in our lives, we are going to have trouble, no matter what lifestyle we choose.
"If polygamy is part of God's truth ....." You are right to make that observation ...Nowhere did Jesus address or teach sexual behaviour that we know of .Now there was a "Johnie come lately"who did not get on that well with the Apostles,who had an awful lot to say for himself,so much so that even Jesus put down His pen and pushed the record button to see what He could learn ...Most of what has been "shoved down our throats" for 2000 years is of mans making,based on the self importance and arrogance of some who never earned an honest living but lived off the sweat of others. How totally unnecessary and unbelievable is the dogma that "Mary was bodily taken up in heaven",an idea invented in my life time .... ose
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